Tips for planning a destination wedding (A personal experience)
Helpful tips you need to know about planning a destination wedding:
Thinking of ditching the stress and pressure that comes with a traditional wedding and just...running off somewhere beautiful for a week long wedding vacation? I’m totally on board for it and ready to be your number one cheerleader to just do the damn thing.
Destination weddings can still include your people - your closest friends and family - while avoiding the fluff and stuff (and costs) of a big wedding. With plenty of heads up to save $$, your guests will have a super rad vacation to look forward to and feel honored to be invited to something that feels so exclusive.
If you know me and my husband or have followed along with our story, you may know that we had a destination wedding in Jamaica and it was the best decision we ever made. Besides getting married of course. I LOVE destination weddings, like a lot, and anytime I hear someone is planning one I am stoked to offer some advice. So here are my best tips for planning a destination wedding, from a personal experience.
Top five tips when planning your destination wedding
A personal opinion
Don’t rush it! I recommend at least 7 days.
If you have the budget to hire vendors, skip the DIY projects.
Splurge on luggage to transport your wedding clothes.
Make sure your guests feel informed and included.
Invest in your memories (insert camera emoji here).
Don’t rush it! I recommend at least 7 days for a full destination vacation and wedding experience.
When we planned our wedding in Jamaica, I knew I wanted at least seven days at our resort. One day for travel there, one day for travel back, one day for the wedding, and then four days to hang with all of our friends and family. It was the perfect amount for us, but looking back, I wish we had tacked on a few extra days to explore the culture and cities nearby our resort.
We had a few guests who only booked their trip for four days and all they could talk about was how much they regretted it. If you have the time to take from work, the extra funds, you won’t regret turning your destination wedding into a week long affair (or longer!)
2. If you have the budget to hire vendors, skip the DIY projects.
Since we paid for our wedding ourselves, I tried to DIY some wedding projects to save a buck or two. Looking back, I 100% should have skipped this step and hired it out. When I was planning, I was only thinking about what everything was going to cost me, not that these projects would cost me time during my precious wedding vacation. Particularly, instead of hiring a DJ, I bought an iPod and gave my best friend the task of making a playlist. That was all fine and well but somehow the person in charge of the playlist picked the wrong playlist during our reception and VERY vulgar music started playing loudly through the speakers during dinner. There quite a few old folks at our wedding who did not find this mishap funny. It’s a hilarious memory now but at the time I remember being so concerned about the wrong songs playing instead of enjoying my very delicious rum cake.
I also insisted on making my own centerpieces for the reception, again to save some money. I purchased all the pieces and packed them ever so carefully in their own special suitcase and lugged them all the way from Oregon to Jamaica. Only for me to forget about them because I was so busy having fun with all my people. When our wedding day rolled around, I knew was forgetting something. When it dawned on me that I had to assemble centerpieces and table decor, I was so so bummed. I refused to leave the pool and my fruity drink. Luckily one of my guests felt bad for me and agreed to cut her paddle boarding trip short and get to DIY-ing. Long story short- skip the DIY projects if you can. Trust me.
3. Splurge on luggage to transport your wedding clothes.
Thomas and I did spend quite the penny on our wedding clothes. I insisted on finding the perfect dress for me (hello 2-piece dress with a pink lining? Totally me and unique) and Thomas has a unique body shape that requires finding the perfect pants (read: he gotta big booty). So the last thing we wanted to happen was to pack our wedding outfits like normal and take the risk of them getting damaged or worst, lost. So our lovely world-traveling friends lent us their luggage that they used for their destination wedding in Italy (another blog post on that later). We were able to carry-on our wedding clothes and I felt so at ease knowing that nearly $3,000 worth of clothes were right in the overhead bin. Here are the exact luggage pieces that we used.
4. Make sure your guests feel informed and included.
Throughout every bit of planning my Jamaican wedding, there was one common theme: no stress. I didn't want to stress about planning, the wedding, itineraries or anything of the sort. I just wanted to have fun. However people kept asking me, “Michelle what are we doing while we’re there?” No matter how many times I sent them links to the resort website and ideas for their trip, they still felt in the dark. I didn't want to coordinate dinners or lunches or anything but it turns out, when people spend a few thousand dollars to come to the Caribbean to hang out with you for your wedding, they want to actually hang out with you. So every single day I was trying to plan lunch and dinner plans for 17 people. It was stressful, and even though I encourage people to just do their own thing, that was not registering for them. Looking back, I should have spent a bit of time on an itinerary and optional plans for guests to include themselves on instead of leaving them to themselves. Turns out, people don’t like that like I thought.
However something I did get right and was a major hit, was gift bags for all of our guests. Thomas and I spent one weekend tie-dying 17 canvas bags (picture smallish/medium sized tote bags to take to the pool or beach). We then filled each one with Advil, Benadryl, Tums, a Tide to-go pen, chapstick, sunscreen (I chose the SPF based on each person’s skin type- I’m extra LOL), a thank-you card, and possibly a few other items that I am forgetting. But people loved them! Also it was super easy to spot my crew around the resort-we just had to look for tie-dye bags!
5.Invest in your memories (insert camera emoji here).
Would you be surprised that the wedding photographer DID NOT hire a wedding photographer for her own wedding? Totally being honest and vulnerable here but since we were paying for the wedding ourselves, I just could not justify adding on another $5-$7k to our budget. We were living in a one-bedroom apartment in Portland and barely making ends meet. I had yet to seriously start my photography business so it just wasn’t a priority for me. And it’s the biggest regret of my 20’s. However, my friend’s plus one was her mom (she was single and it was a couple’s resort, meaning you had to book 2 people to a room, or you ended up paying double). Plus friend’s mom, we’ll call her Sharon, had just gotten a divorce and it was the perfect time for her first trip out of the US. Sharon is a novice photographer had had taken my senior portraits way back in the day so I thought to myself, if I cover Sharon’s room costs, maybe she’ll take my wedding photos. Turns out that was a great deal for her and the rest is history. I by no means am dogging on Sharon’s photography skills but now that I have a few years of being a full-time wedding photographer, there are SO many photos I wish I would have had that I didn’t know to tell Sharon to capture. I have a pretty visual memory and can picture the morning of the ceremony where all 19 of us were at the same pool, taking shots, and feeling like we were living our best life. But we do not have one photo of that and that memory lives in my brain for as long as it will allow me to picture it. What I wouldn’t give to be able to print that bad boy and hang it on my wall.
I am constantly asking my friends, even five years after our wedding, to send me their photos from Jamaica. The photos that Sharon took are on a CD somewhere in a box and on an old laptop somewhere that I hope will turn on when I finally get my life together to make a wedding album. Had I had hired a pro, these photos would be delivered digitally and I likely would have purchased an album to look through whenever I felt cold or lonely (hello February blues!) Please don’t be like me. Your future self will thank you. Splurge on your photographer and get as much time from them as they’re willing to offer- you will NOT regret it.
(My favorite photo of us from our wedding)
And lastly, if you’ve found any value in this information or want to pick my brain anymore about a destination wedding, feel free to email me directly at hell@thebreiters.com. Or if you want to skip dinner and go straight for dessert, send me an inquiry here because you know I’ll be hella stoked to fly ANYWHERE to help make some magic.